I was 12 years old when I first joined a church choir. Before then I used to sing for the sake of singing. Just jamming to whatever song was current. Mind you I was a child so current songs for me came inform of Barney the Purple Dinosaur sing-along and other sing song movies. Anyway back to the choir thing….like I said before I was 12 years old when I was approached by my then pastor to join the church choir. At first I was reluctant to join as everyone in the choir at that time were all older people, married men and women but I was convinced to join regardless. A few other youths were asked to join also. We the youth at that time saw it as an obligation but truth is as I got older I saw it to be a great privilege to sing for God.
A privilege that came with a certain peace and tranquillity to a rather shattered mind. See as a child, I had a rather complicated upbringing. In comparison to some people my age, I had a wonderful upbringing. Would I have wanted it different? of course…. A whole lot different but alas fate dealt me the life I had so I can’t complain. But with that life came pain and anger and hate and resentment and insecurities and many more. In way I was lost and had no way of getting back.
Years later, after I had joined the choir, I had an epic epiphany… Singing for God became somewhat therapeutic for me, those lingering hate, resentment and anger started to vanish and instead came love for God greater than I would ever comprehend, i found myself being more forgiving and generally lighter on the inside. I found myself feeling a sense of serenity and tranquillity.
You see, I noticed that the times that I would immerse myself in worship, I would find myself connected to God. And so I didn’t feel so lost anymore. I realised that I loved singing in the choir and that made some of the bad days we would have in the choir bearable. Because I realised I was not singing for man or even for the church but I was singing for God. It felt like a passionate intimate affair with God when I sang. Like nothing else mattered or that the world we know it ceased to exit and it was just me and my God. Gosh!!! I love that feeling. That feeling of sweet nothingness